


so it goes

by watermealong



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes, Happy Birthday Kim Minseok, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 14:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18236357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watermealong/pseuds/watermealong
Summary: People often leave marks on Minseok's life. Sometimes he heals, sometimes he doesn't. But he will live, he always will.





	so it goes

Kim Minseok never wavered. Once he decides to do something, he will stand by it until the very end. Even when some ends were painful and left scars in his heart more than anything could ever be, he would be there, holding on to his words because that was what Kim Minseok would do.

 

People leave marks on his life.

 

Minseok had run out of numbers to actually count them. But he did remember a few,  very few that flourished and broke him, and it didn’t matter. In the end, what mattered was that he lived through every day, grew back the day after and _lived_. He didn’t have time to dwell in the past, breaking through every door just so he can change fate. No. Minseok will live, because this is life and it always continues on moving and you will be a fool to be the only one who stays still.

 

Luhan  left a mark on his life too.

 

It was too bizarre for Minseok to abandon the scars, to seal his wound and heal. Because unlike any other, Luhan thrives as the sole winner. He always was.

 

Sometimes, when he looked at the ceiling after practice, or when he glanced at the sky on a plane to foreign places he never went, he wondered if he had left the same mark for Luhan. Had he ever mattered as much as he did to him.

 

But it didn’t matter.

 

“Hey, Minseok,” the voice was familiar, echoing in his ears like bells. “Happy birthday.”

 

Minseok smiled while watching the TV from his bed, it was about time Chanyeol or Sehun filled their group chat with birthday messages and congratulations, about time where he should be asleep because he really couldn’t open his eyes for another ten minutes, but he will make time for Luhan.

 

He always did.

 

“Thanks, Luhan,” he whispered. “How’s it going?”

 

There were times where everything turned into silence and Minseok was ready to hang up the phone in case the chinese man decided to keep mummed. But Luhan took a deep breath instead. “I’m fine, just like the usual, you know.”

He knows.

 

Luhan would be on his couch, the expensive white ones that he always so proud of, the TV would be on--just like Minseok’s--and there would either be his cat or his girlfriend on his side, but they didn’t really matter.

 

Minseok heard a girl laughing and he concluded that it was the other one and nodded.

 

“Thanks for always being the first to wish me, Lu. Hope we could catch up soon, i miss your annoying laughter and bad intuition, you know.”

 

Luhan laughed and Minseok decided that he shouldn’t have said that. “Hey, that was one time,” he retorted. “I miss you too, i think i’m going to Korea soon. Don’t know when, but i’ll let you know so you can invite me to a sleepover in your new place.”

 

Minseok groaned. “You freeloader. I won’t invite you near my house if you carry dirt around your shoes like an idiot.”

 

“Don’t worry, i’ll even brought my own cleaner just for you!”

 

Minseok's smile faded away.

 

_Look, Minseok! This fits you well! What do you think? I’ll buy them just for you!_

 

_No Jongdae, don’t eat that! Shit--no! I made them just for Minseok!_

 

_Minseok, i’m so nervous...wait, you are nervous too, ugh, i’ll hold your hand just for you._

 

_Listen, Minseok, i will be here. Just for you. I might be going away from everyone else. But never from you. I’ll be here--i’ll be here--_

 

“You better.”

 

They went quiet again, but this time, Minseok smile rose in his face.

 

“How’s your boyfriend? Did he take care of you well?” Luhan asked out of the blue, and Minseok chuckled from his randomness.

 

“Don’t worry, he take care of me _really_ well.” Minseok heard Luhan groaned and he laughed again. The thirty year old yawned once and decided that it was the time for him to end the call. “Hey, Lu, i’ll talk to you later, alright? Call me if you need anything.”

 

Minseok can hear him smile, that little one on his face he can picture well in his mind. There were millions of other things Minseok can remember from Luhan, one was for his eyes, the other one was for how ugly and old he looked whenever he laughed with his whole face, and the other one was when they used to be so in love with each other.

 

But it didn’t matter anymore.

 

“Fine, talk to you soon,” Luhan said. “Have a good night, Minseok. Happy birthday.”

 

“Have a good night to you, too, Luhan.”

 

There were a lot Minseok had to let go in life. Maybe Luhan was one of them, maybe he was never meant to be with him in the first place. But like his youth, Luhan will be there for Minseok to remember him fondly. Because he gave him warmth, he gave him the time to grow as a person and artist. And just like his youth, Luhan was one that should be left in the past.

 

Minseok loved him, as much as he had loved himself, or even more. His heart was once beat just for him, but it had found someone new today and he didn’t want to shied away from that. He will go on in life, do his best like he always does, taking care and giving his all with everything he does, because that was what Kim Minseok always be.

 

As Minseok pulled his bed cover all over himself, wrapping in the warmth, he thought of all the time that had passed, prayed for them to stay as fond memory like Luhan always be. Because they were beautiful once, they were alive for each other and hopefully always be. He might never find love with Luhan, but he found happiness and loyalty, found a friend and himself too.

 

And hopefully, he will stay that way, marched in life and move forwards.

 

:::

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to the my first love, Kim Minseok. Believe me that i cried while writing this. You are so beautiful, Minseok, never change.
> 
> Ps. writing xiuhan hurt me beyond everything else, i guess they leave marks on me too huhu


End file.
